Heather you keep hurting me, and I don’t know why. You know I don’t love Adrianna, I love you. One day you love me, the other you lie and lie to me, hurting me a lot. Well maybe you should talk to me, because when ever I try to talk to you, you just go in away message. You keep hurting me over and over, you gave yourself to Ben, knowing I love you. So why do you say you love me, and had sex with Ben? What the hell do you want me to do!??? I love you, you said you love me. So tell me what do you want me to do! Do you want me to leave you alone, and wait for you to move to NY? That’s if that wasn’t a lie. Do you want me to spend $1000 and go to California for 1-2 days to see you? Do you want me to kill myself? Do you want me to completely leave you alone, deal with your lies or something else? CAN YOU FUCKING TELL ME WTF IS HAPPENING! You said you love me, but need Ben because I’m not here!!!! Well I can understand that, but then you had sex with him, WTF!!! I’m not your fucking little toy to play with, I fucking love you! You say you love me, well maybe you should prove that, if you really love me. Hey I’m trying to be open minded, I try believing you and understand you, but you keep hurting me and lying to me! You said you where bad for me, you said your mom is moving to NY and you might to. Well it would be nice to know WTF is going on! Do you even fucking love me? You say you do, but you had sex with Ben, you do stuff with him like his your almighty love! You know my feelings about you, I love you so much and your everything to me! You keep hurting me, but I’m still here because you are everything to me! Don’t give me your bullshit about me loving Adrianna, I DON’T LOVE HER! I DON’T WANT TO TALK TO HER! It’s you my heart craves for, not her, or Tasha or Jessica, or anyone else! It’s you! So how about you start showing that you love me, and we talk on aim, because I have no fucking privacy on the phone in my house. Heather one day you love me, the other you’re hurt me, and frankly I would like to know WHY! Reply to this e-mail, or fucking IM me, just do something so I know what’s happening!!! You keep saying you need Ben because I’m not with you, well I can’t move to Cali, not until I finish prep school, and find a college in Cali if possible. You have the possibility to move to NY. Well if you love me then move to NY. I won’t hurt you, or dump you, or do something foolish. I love you, no one else. You say you love me, well then please start fucking showing it! All I want is to protect you, those things you tell me hurt me, I don’t know if their true, or if they are lies! You gave yourself to Ben, that killed me, because you knew I loved you. Enough is enough, we need to talk, and you need to stop lying to me, and tell me if you really love me and if you are moving to NY, because I LOVE YOU HEATHER! ONLY YOU! But I have my limits on how pain I can take, you ruined my Christmas, you ruined my last month, I’m a mess right now, but I know something for a fact, I love you. Please no more lies, enough of that, you know my feelings for you, I don’t know your feelings for me, all I know is that you say ‘omg I love you Ronan’ well I really want to believe that, because I love you. All I can say is please talk to me on AIM, and tell me your true feelings, enough lies, please, all I ever did to you is love you, and then you say ‘omg I love you Ronan’. Well this is real life, and I love you. Now it’s time you do something about it. You can say that you never loved me, but that would be a lie, right? You can be with Ben, then move here this summer, I’ll be here for you. You can have sex with Ben, but then I won’t be here as your lover, maybe I will, I don’t know, all I know is that I want to have you close to me so I can protect you. You told me to leave you alone, but the day before you said that you love me, so please just talk to me, ok? Don’t I at least deserve that? After my month is ruined, my heart is devastated, and my 2004 Christmas is spent with me talking to Max because I don’t know what to do, and my feelings are so strong for you, all my morals (the one’s about me wanting a virgin) are changing. This is what I know for a fact:

1) I LOVE YOU,

2) I WANT YOU TO BE CLOSE TO ME,

3) YOU ARE EVERYTHING TO ME.

Please talk to me, you know I love you. All I want to do is talk, but you always go in away message, or you lie. Please Heather, you are everything to me, lets talk.

Your Ronan B.

P.S: Ben, dude, wtf. You don’t talk for her. I respect you buddy, you love her, at least I hope you do, but the whole macho thing doesn’t fucking work with me. I love Heather, I know that for a fact. She told me she loves me, but needs someone right now, and you are here for her. Well thanks for that, you also took her virginity, no thanks for that one, that killed me. But she needs protection and you give her that, thank you. I won’t change my mind because you say your going to hurt me or w/e, well this is real life, I love her, I think you love her, she said she loves me, but needs you, so sorry Ben, but I won’t just ‘go away’. Heather is everything to me, I would die for her. You had sex with her, that killed me, I was really close to killing myself, but my friend Max stopped me. Dude, she’s 14 years old, the last thing she needs is sex. I know that because I know a lot of girls that goes through what she does, well enough of this, I love her, and I won’t give her up because you say your going to hurt me. I’m not a pussy for not talking on the phone, it’s just that this doesn’t concern my family, it concerns me, and Heather. She said she loves me but needs you, well believe it or not, she said it.

Heather, you know my feelings, so lets talk, no more lies please.